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October 18, 2007 / chrisisgross

figuratively

been thinking bout the total misuse of the english language and i have come up with my own bastardization that i think should be the next big thing.

instead of misusing literally. we should start misusing figuratively. although i guess when you say “figuratively speaking “you are doing that sort of thing, but what i am hoping to start are usages that are the opposite of the misuse of literally. so when something is literal i.e. you were 1 hour late and you were exactly 1 hour late you say ” i was figuratively 1 hour late.” when it is the figurative i.e. something with bells on you say, ” i was literally waiting with bells on,” which only makes sense if you are a court jester.

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